I’m not going to write about this and try and sugar coat the subject. Moving into your first home together isn’t easy. Whether you’re buying or renting you will come up against obstacles, ones you never thought you would when you lived apart. You find out things about your other half that may surprise you. So grab a coffee because here it is, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Yes I know. When you first move in together, you want to keep the romance in your relationship alive and hide all of these things. Non man-friendly products and granny pants will seem like the kinds of things that you will want to lock away in a guy-proof cupboard. The fact is that you can’t. Trust me when I say I tried! No matter how far back you push them, he will go through the cupboards to find his stuff. I mean, they are his cupboards too! If your relationship is a good one and a mature enough one, he’ll be completely fine with it all. I don’t mean walk around in your granny pants on and wax your legs on the dining room table but wearing a facemask? Go for it! The thing is, at some point he’ll see something you never thought he would, but he will still love you no matter what.
Now this is one thing that shocked me. How much stuff we both actually owned. It was a real eye opener! My other half had come from having his own home and I, from my parents, so there was a bit of a difference in the amount. Saying that, even I was shocked with how much I had managed to accumulate living at my Mum and Dad’s! There were clothes for clothes, enough kitchen items to sink a ship and so many beauty products. For me this seemed like the perfect opportunity to have a declutter. I really can’t recommend it enough. When you move in together, remember that over time, you will both as a couple, collect even more stuff. So start off on the right foot and give yourselves room to grow. Stay neat and tidy and please, buy some storage. Even if it’s plastic boxes for under the bed or storage boxes for your attic, however you do it, just do it! It will help.
He always puts the cushions the wrong way on the bed. He squeezes the toothpaste at the top not the bottom. His wet towel is left on the floor to “dry”. Who cares. Honestly. The small stuff is the stuff that doesn’t matter at the end of it all. You can always rearrange the cushions. You won’t self-combust if you have to redo the toothpaste the way you like it. That wet towel? Leave it on the floor so it’s nice and cold and wet when he comes to use it again? I’m only joking! But seriously, just hang it up. It takes two seconds of your time and lets face it, he’ll either learn one day or he won’t. I’m sure there are things you do that annoy him too! Make sure you keep an eye on all the things that are important in your lives. These things aren’t deal breakers and are not worth fighting over.
Remember you’re in a relationship still and not just roommates. Don’t fall into the trap of getting too comfortable and losing any spark and romance you once had. Plan date nights, go to the cinema and if you’re lucky like us, try out your local pub! No matter how long you’ve lived together you must always put effort in. Think of new ways to spice things up. Go get ready for your date that little bit earlier and slip into something sexy, it will give him a surprise and something to look forward to when you get back from dinner. You have to try and find new ways to create mystery when you have less privacy. Also, let each other have guys nights and girls nights. It is still so important to have your own life and to do your own things with your friends. You will both find a new appreciation for them, and trust me, the other one will still be there when you get home.
You’re really going to get to know each other really well. When you lived apart, you will have taken time away from each other when you weren’t well. You can’t do this now, no matter how hard you try! Part of being a good partner in a relationship is looking after the other one when they’re not well. You do get used to it, I promise. They’ll be there to hold your hair when you’re throwing up, it’s all part of it. There’s also nowhere to run when you have a fight. Don’t go around slamming doors and making a meal out of it. All I can advise is to talk it out. One of the biggest things I’ve learnt is that it’s so much easier and less effort to actually sit and talk about it like adults. Work through things together. You are a team, you’re in this together! You’ve always got to love and respect the person you’re with and accommodate them and their feelings, and vice versa, or it just won’t work.
I think the general thought is that when you move in together that nothing will change, but it does. And so it should. If nothing changes, then I would worry! Even if it’s the smallest of changes such as feeling more love and trust, that in its self says a lot about your relationship. Moving in together is such a big step, enjoy it, work hard at it and most of all, don’t lose sight of why you did it in the first place. You love each other.
*as seen on GoDates.com